freeze rain

It troubles me how much intelligent conversation is used as a distraction from loving others. It’s all TALK. Do we veer close to the edge where we have philosophized about love so much that we have forgotten how to actually do so? I am not against intellectualizing. I’m just scared that in our attempts to not be lemmings that walk off cliffs, we’ve become apathetic and just sat there without budging… waiting for ourselves to think ourselves out of our problems.

I’m so tired of people who feel that thinking will solve their problems. I spent 4 years relying on my thought and my ability to sound eloquent expressing that thought… and found myself in this intellectual ivory tower (more like a glass and concrete library in the shape of a tree) that was high out of reach from relevancy.

I’ve seen long conversations go full circle. And it’s troubling to see how cyclic they can become. It’s part of our scientific process that was born out of a disillusion with faith during the enlightenment… but what happens when you’ve become disillusioned with a disillusion?

I know people who suspect I’ve totally abandoned rationality. I haven’t. It’s just that at the end of it all… the deepest and most mysterious truths are the simplest. And they should be kept that way. there’s no breaking them down…faith. hope. love. i’ve tried. Breaking them down just leaves them… torn apart, without power. Understood, but turned into the latest science experiment, not something that changes and guides me at a deep level.

I don’t want to be guided by my own analysis. That just leaves me within a yuppy heaven (or hell)- in smoky independently owned coffee shops sipping from a cup and trying to look as emo as possible. There’s something deeper. There’s something beyond my ability to analyze. my analysis, intellectualism and philosifization can be the springboard into it, but it is not the ends.


One thought on “post-intellectualism

  1. sam says:

    I’ve actually been struggling with this a lot recently. I feel like I’m thinking too much, it’s been messing with my faith. I’ve been questioning everything. It’s to the point where I’m not sure what I believe in anymore. I’m tired of thinking. I wish I could learn to just let go and let God. Thinking in itself isn’t bad, but it has become my god.

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