May my heart not go numb

Today as I was worshiping at a conference, something strange happened. God spoke. It doesn’t happen too often, but it happened. Can’t really explain what it… i just know it happened. I’m not writing to prove the experience of God’s voice. All i know was that it just simply said, “It’s time for the numbness to end”.

I have grown numb to many things. prayer. worship. grief. It’s strange because I’ve been realizing how over-active my emotions are… but there are some things that I used to be so sensitive to that I am completely numb to now.

tragedy is easy to numb myself to also. I did not realize 4 horrific shootings had occurred recently, and 2 of them on college campuses. I work on a college campus. I didn’t think about it, but that could have been on my campus. And perhaps I have forgotten the echoes of gunshots and the smell of gunpowder that my generation knows from Columbine and the subsequent shootings after at highschools like Santana High School, and the fear we had to live in every time somebody found threatening language in a bathroom stall, or the bomb plot that was stopped at De Anza Community College several years ago. I used to feel a deep cry in my heart towards God for Him to stop the killing that is destroying my generation. Perhaps I’ve just gotten used to it now.

I pray tonight that I never get used to it.

May God cover NIU with peace… but perhaps more radically, forgiveness, reconciliation, courage, and prophetic voices that say, “Another world is possible”.