One of my friends, when observing the way I do ministry, remarked that I’m a lot like Bob Saget- Such a nice dad on Full House, but such a crass and inappropriate comedian in real life.
It’s made me think a lot. I am such a hopeful, prophetic person sometimes. But then I will flip around and become extremely cynical. Perhaps it is my way of justifying the almost naive optimism of my ministry personality… to show that one can be hopeful but critical at the same time. I use my critical-ness to gain the trust of critical people.
But do I go beyond just criticism? Or do I just have blind hope for those I minister to? At times, I feel like I have Foucault and Chomsky’s 1971 debate between justice and power (which seemed to me more like action vs. critique) going on in my head over and over (part 1 and part 2)… like the two intellectuals are just sitting across from each other fighting for control. It’s the fight for awareness and agency. One would wish they would just combine… perhaps in some new word like “awaregency”, but they seem at odds with one another.
I am caught so often within these areas of tension. But tension may be good… because at least it’s not stagnant. At least there is energy to be harnessed… but it’s such a wild and uncontrollable energy that seems to just tear apart…